Why We Must Forgive
“Just as you may have been wronged by someone, it’s entirely possible that you hurt someone else at a different point in time”
Every one of us has had relationships that turned sour because of something the other person did. Barring that ‘something,’ these relationships could have brought us joy, whether it was because we clicked with these other people on an intellectual level, or our sense of humour complemented each other’s or even, because of the common interests we shared. But when that egregious ‘something’ happened, it rubbed us the wrong way entirely. Since then, the relationship might have derailed and Is just hobbling along today, or we may have cut that person out of our lives completely!
Benefits Of Forgiveness
Consider forgiving that other person. There are two direct benefits – the first being that it provides a way to mend what was broken and the second that it purges us of the anger or resentment that we carry. The relationship might never become what it was, but that cross you carried would have been lifted. It’s even possible that the relationship morphs into something new, into a more honest, more understanding relationship now that the bridge has been rebuilt, but at a minimum, it would untie that knot in your head, that kept you revisiting what was and what could have been.
Consider The Karmic Element
The act of forgiving has a karmic element to it as well. Just as you may have been wronged by someone, it’s entirely possible that you hurt someone else at a different point in time. And yes, this creates a similar knot in your head too. One does not become a lesser person by accepting one’s fault, by swallowing the ego and apologizing unconditionally when one is wrong. And it you’re able to do that, you’ve done everything in your power to mend that relationship and can hope to be forgiven. It is in this same spirit that one should forgive, when the roles are reversed.
How Does Forgiving Work?
Forgiveness requires acceptance. One has to embrace the incident or behaviour that caused the conflict in the first place and re-assess how one felt then and slowly let it go. Accept that the human condition Is flawed and there can be a number of explanations as to why someone wronged us. Then, like a deep exhalation, we have to let go of the hurt and move away from that place of regret or bitterness. At the end of the day, we hold the keys to our own peace and contentment and the acts of seeking forgiveness, or forgiving, are both crucial pillars to build that haven of happiness for ourselves.