Addressing Insecurities Relationship
Insecurity is nothing but a feeding anxiety or about oneself coupled with a lack of confidence. It IS also defined as the state of feeling threatened or exposed to danger. In other words, it is an antonym to security and certainty. A deeper understanding Of this definition Will make you realise that you can be insecure about anything that involves the participation of yourself.
When we talk about insecurities, we intuitively think about ‘relationship insecurities. An Individual can be insecure not just about their partner but about any relationship that involves a close bond Specifically, it could be a relationship that has the capacity to pass judgment about them. Theoretically. there are three main types of insecurity in adults.
Types Of Insecurity In Adults
Insecure people With this attachment style are preoccupied with self-doubt and a positive view of self. They doubt their worth as a person and put the onus of responding in the relationship on the other. Moreover. they tend to become excessively dependent on the affectionate figure, sortEtirTE to the extent that the partner feels suffocated in the relationship.
As the type suggests, these individuals avoid close and intimate relationships For them being independent and emotionally self-sufficient is a way to protect themselves and therefore. they may avoid connections completely. They often deny the importance or need for closer relations and feel emotional as attachment as unimportant. Their partners generally experience feeling of rejection and emotional frigidity in the relationship.
Individuals with trauma, losses or painful events like sexual abuse in childhood are most likely to develop this kind of relationship. They oscillate between their fear to trust others and their need for attachment Their mixed feelings leave them feeling confused and dissatisfied. They also have great difficulty verbaliSing their emotions.
Those suffering from insecurity will never gain enough validation from their relationship and will always be dissatisfied
Effects Of Relationship Insecurity
Feeling jealous of someone usually that we aren’t feeling great about ourselves and we see something in him or her that we feel we are lacking in.
Being clingy or needy in a is a sign of insecurity It appears as if their life revolves around that one significant person Their identity merges with that Of the partner. Clinginess is a need to be together all the time, for fear of what will happen when you’re apart.
Looking For Validation:
Unfortunately. people suffering from insecurity will never gain enough validation from their relationship. They always appear dissatisfied.
Those insecure in a relationship try to validate their worth by playing games and thus pretend that they think high of themselves or try to the partner jealous, When you’re a secure person. it is easy to be yourself and not worry about having to play games to get someone to like you.
Insecure persons compare themselves With others or With their partner’s past relationships.
Dealing With Insecurity
- Communicate openly and honestly With your partner or close ones
- Hear them and believe in them
- Identify your insecure attachment style, social biases and be aware of how it impacts your self-Image
- Be aware that you too, could be nuking it difficult for your partner but are unable to accept it
- Talk to your partner on how both of you contribute to the growing insecurity in the relationship
- Find your triggers and deal with them differently
- Be open to negotiation. Negotiation doesn’t mean the other person doesn’t treat you With as much importance
- Give and receive trust, loyalty, and support, treat your partner equally
- Value your relation to feel secure but just as a ‘shoulder to cry on’
- Enjoy your relationship and keep it fun
Insecurity And Inequality
Social inequality is one reason that men and women feel insecure in their relationship Additionally, we have very strong rules about social behaviour. Here are some examples:
- Men need to woo the women
- Women cannot Moose to their partner
- Men cannot express emotions, it’s up to the women to do so
- No nutter what you do. will always be insecure
- The need for independence in a relationship means ‘he/she doesn’t love ma enough’
- Men have a functional role and are responsible for the monetary needs while women are emotional providers
- A man must be possessive about his partner to Show how protective is of her
These cognitions and the rigidity in them, spring from gender inequality We treat women as incapable of taking care of themselves and propagate train as not being emotional fools. These very beliefs thwart easy communication between partners and also hamper feelings of security in a relationship Security is always against the laid down rules Which are highly unequal. Therefore, there is a need to believe in the Idea of ‘security equals equality.’